① if a boy loves you(translation)
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会一直不叫你的名字，他会叫你蠢猪，傻瓜或者87
if a boy loves you, he will keep calling your name, or fool or 87
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你忘记带钥匙而哭的时候为你爬墙，最后被宿舍管理员纪律处分。
if a boy loves you, he will climb over the wall ro find the keys for your forgetfulness, and receive punishment from the dorm administrator.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会说你不漂亮，但从他喜欢上你的那一天开始，他已经没兴趣再看其他漂亮女生了。
if a boy loves you, he will say that your not pretty looking girl, since from the day he falls in love with you, he was not interested in other pretty girls anymore.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会说你是一头猪，因为在他心里你就像一头笨笨猪一样可爱。
if a boy loves you, he will call you a piglet as lovely and simple as you are in his mind.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在和你一起逛街的时候，一直看经过身边的美女，然后被你骂色狼的时候他还会好开心。
if a boy loves you, he will ,when you are wandering on the street with him, fix his eyes on beautiful girls passing by, and feel happy when you call him lady-killer.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会陪你去看他不喜欢的言情片，然后任由你把他的衣服当纸巾。
if a boy loves you, he will acommpany youto tp stare at a love movie that he hate to, and leave you use his sleeves as tissuepaper.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会叫你和他一起看恐怖片，然后喜欢你躲在他怀里尖叫。
if a boy loves you, he will invite you to a horrible movie to wait for you screaming in his arms.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会故意向你借他不喜欢看的电影碟，只为了可以有一个见你的借口。
if a boy loves you, he will borrow a disc which he dislikes from you to find a chance of meeting you again.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你无聊的时候，用手机发信息陪你聊天，他会说这个月的信息太多，不想浪费。
if a boy loves you, he will msm you when you are bored and find an excuse that he has much balance this month.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你的耳机坏了的时候，把耳机借给你，然后一个人在电脑上看无声的球赛。
if a boy loves you, he will lend you his earphone when yours dont' work and watch a silent match alone.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你的电脑有问题的时候自告奋勇地帮你解决，因为他刚向别人请教了怎么弄。
if a bo loves you he will volunteer for repairing your broken computer, since he just asked from others.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会把自己说得无所不能，并非自大，他是因为太喜欢你。
if a boy locves you, he will boasts himself being foromnipotent,simply because he loves you.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会为了在玩游戏中帮你赢取分数，常常苦练那个他不喜欢的游戏到深夜。
if a boy loves you, he will work hard on the game which he does not like at all until midnight for the sake of gaining marks for you.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在玩游戏的时候故意输给你，然后忍受你一遍又一遍地笑他是超级大菜鸟。
if a boy loves you, he will lose on purpose, and enre you call him “green hand”from time to time.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他总是最后一个挂掉电话或最后一个下线，因为他觉得这样才放心。
if a boy loves you, he will be the last on to hang up or log off to to be at ease.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他睡觉时不会关掉手机，他会害怕你深夜有什么事却找不到他。
if a boy loves you, he will make his cell phone 24 hours and 7 days power on, just in case that you can not find him when you are in trouble at midnight.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会为了你而改变睡觉前不刷牙的习惯
if a boy loves you, he will change his habit of going to sleep without brushing his teeth.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你肚子痛的时候，四处打听什么药治肚子痛最有效。
if a boy loves you, he will ask around what's the most effevtive medicine to cure your astomache.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你遇到危险的时候奋不顾身，在你痛哭的时候手足无措。
if a boy loves you, he will be your super hero when you are in danger and be all at sea when you shed tears.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你轻轻打他的时候说很痛，在你真正用力打他的时候说一点都不痛。
if a boy loves you, he will yell when you slightly pat on him and compalin nothing when you wallop him.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会在你生气的时候充当你的出气筒，在你开心的时候充当你的冷场笑话的听众。
if a boy loves you, he'll be your punching bag when you are angry and your audience of your cool jokes when you are happy.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会忘记男女平等这一事实，他会接受你一切的不平等条例。
if a boy likes you, he'll forget the fact of feminism, and accept all of your uneqqual treaty.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会跟着你喜欢你所喜欢的一切，讨厌你所讨厌的一切。
if a boy loves you, he'll like what you like and hate what you hate.
如果一个男孩喜欢你，他会把你和一切美好的东西联系在一起。
if a boy love you, he wil connected every splendid thing with you.
② 适合小学生阅读的英语小笑话要带翻译
1.Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"
"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."
Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"
丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。“爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔？”
“我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，”丈夫推诿说。“我们打球只是为了开心而已。”
莎拉毫不气馁，又问：“那么，爸爸，谁玩的更开心呢？”
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。“来，坐下，吃点点心，”妈妈说，“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。”
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
“你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，”他那聪明的儿子说，“里面装点东西，就会好的。”
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。
母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，“露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。”
露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：“您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗？”