❶ 求四人英语搞笑短剧剧本 四五分钟左右
《老友记S01E04台词》
蓝帽子：（对护士说）Excuse me?
护士：（对电话说）It saysto call this number if you’re not completely satisfied with this candy bar.Well, I’m not completely satisfied.（停顿）well, but the labelpromised that nutty goodness.
蓝帽子：（对护士说）Listen, it’s kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, orwe’d be in the predicament room.（干笑）
护士：（不耐烦的看着蓝帽子,手里仍拿着电话）Holdon. Fill these out, sit over there.（扔给蓝帽子一个表格）
（蓝帽子接过表格）
歪鼻子：（捂着鼻子跑过来对护士说）Look, I don’t wanna make any troble, okay. But I’m in a lot of painhere, alright? My face is danted.
护士：（拿着电话看着手里的巧克力，一眼都不看歪鼻子说）Well,you’ll have to wait your turn.
白衣服：（对护士说）Well, how long do you think it’ll be?
护士：（仍拿着电话看向白衣服说）Any minute now.（讥笑）
歪鼻子：（对护士说）Hey miss.
（护士凶恶的看向三人，三人被吓得后退一步后坐在了一旁的沙发上）
（歪鼻子接受完治疗回来）
蓝帽子：（指向歪鼻子）Heyman!
白衣服：（同时喊道）Heybuddy!
歪鼻子：Hi！（然后把表格轻松的丢在桌子上，看向了护士）
护士：（冷漠）Oh, that’sattractive.（讥笑）
蓝帽子：（对护士说）Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the lambs.（偷笑）
（歪鼻子和白衣服冷眼看着白帽子）
蓝帽子：（对歪鼻子说）Ohcome on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
歪鼻子：（反问蓝帽子）Fun?Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? （问白衣服）Whereis my puck?
白衣服：（转身指向小孩子说道）Oh,ah. The kid has it.
歪鼻子：（顺着白衣服指的方向走过去）The kid..?
（三人走向那个小孩子）
歪鼻子：（对小孩说）Excuseme, uh, that’s, that’s my puck.
小孩子：（转头面对歪鼻子说）Ifound it.（并得意的说）Finders keepers, losers weepers.
蓝帽子：（歪鼻子和蓝帽子对视一眼，蓝帽子叉腰无奈）You gotta doit, man.
歪鼻子：（底气不足）Ohyeah? Well, I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you …?（转头对蓝帽子说）Can’tdo it. （蓝帽子耸肩拍拍歪鼻子转身走开）
歪鼻子：（无奈继续对小孩说）Listenuh… gimme back my puck.
小孩：（果断且头也不回）No.
歪鼻子：（去抢小孩手里的东西）’Yes’,how about. （小孩：No.）Come here. （小孩：No.）Gimme!（小孩：No!）
护士：Hey! Hey!No rough holding in my ER!
歪鼻子&小孩：（拉扯中）Give memy puck!!!
（Puck突然被夺飞，飞向了护士的头，护士被砸晕了。三人对视）
歪鼻子：（惊楞了一下，对白衣服说）…Nowthat was fun.
❷ 关于英语四级的笑话
有个人准备考英语四级~吃早餐的时候特地买了一根油条和两个鸡蛋~图个100分的好兆头（回四级没改革以前满分是答100）~
但是吃完油条敲第一个蛋开的时候他发现那颗是双黄蛋~犹豫再三~他只吃了这个双黄的~还留下个没吃~
四级成绩公布时他惊呼：“真准！”哥们儿都挤过来瞧~是挺准的——18分。
❸ 英语搞笑短剧， 4人，10分钟左右。急！好了多加分
Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
（鄙人找不到后半部分，特来求救） 提问者： 冰魄の影魂 - 初级魔法师 三级 答复 共 3 条 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗…… （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
参考资料网站有更多选择。
❹ 搞笑英语四级视频
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTgyNzA4NjM2.html
是这个吧。。希望能帮到专你。属。
❺ 有关要不要考 怎么考 英语4级的幽默段子 3分钟
小镇来的庙里，一群人源在上香。
突然，一阵烟雾腾起，黑无常现身了，人们惊恐万状，纷纷逃跑。
只有一个老头端坐不动。
黑无常杀气腾腾地冲上去问他：“你是谁？你竟敢不怕我？”
“你有什么好怕的，我和你姐姐都结婚48年了。”老头漠然地说。
❻ 四人英语搞笑故事带翻译，最好每句都带翻译，跪求啊
1.I had an amusing experience last year. After I had left a small village in the south of France, I drove on to the next town. On the way, a young man waved to me. I stopped and he asked me for a lift. As soon as he had got into the car, I said good morning to him in French and he replied in the same language. Apart from a few words, I do not know any French at all. Neither of us spoke ring the journey. I had nearly reached the town, when the young man suddenly said, very slowly, "Do you speak English?' As I soon learnt, he was English himself!'
2.The secretary told me that Mr. Harmsworth would see me. I felt very nervous when I went into his office. He did not look up from his desk when I entered. After I had sat down, he said that business was very bad. He told me that the firm could not afford to pay such large salaries. Twenty people had already left. I knew that my turn had come.
'Mr.Harmsworth,' I said in a weak voice.
'Don't interrupt,' he said.
Then he smiled and told me I would receive an extra thousand pounds a year!
3.After I had had lunch at a village pub, I looked for my bag. I had left it on a chair beside the door and now it wasn't there! As I was looking for it, the landlord came in.
'Did you have a good meal?" he asked.
'Yes, thank you,' I answered, 'but I can't pay the bill. I haven't got my bag.'
The landlord smiled and immediately went out. In a few minutes he returned with my bag and gave it back to me.
'I'm very sorry,' he said. 'My dog had taken in into the garden. He often does this!'收起
小木lonely2011-09-18
❼ 四个英语经典搞笑故事
My First and My Last
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
第一次与最后一次
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。”
升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”
乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行？”
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。
First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."
第一次坐飞机
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？”
“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”
A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我负责
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
Chaude and Cold
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
热与冷
蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”
“可是，先生，C代表Chaude－法语里代表‘热’。如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道这一点。”
“等等，”那位顾客咆哮一声，“另外一个龙头同样标的是C。”
“当然，”经理说道：“它代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”
这个网站里还有很多http://wenku..com/view/6b5902aad1f34693daef3eb2.html
❽ 大家还有哪些搞笑的四六级翻译，笑死我了
英语四级，抄即CET-4，College English Test Band 4的缩写。是由国家教育部高等教育司主持的全国性教学考试；考试的主要对象是根据教育大纲修完大学英语四级的大学本科生或研究生。 CET4属于 公共英语等级证书
❾ 4人的英语搞笑小短剧，高一水平的，十分钟以内
Y: Excuse me, is this your book?
X: Thank you so much.
Y: You are welcome. Are you new admits?
X : yes. We just came to register yesterday. My name is Xiao ling. Nice to meet you. This is my best high school friend Lanlan.
Y: My name is Yani. Nice to meet you, too. This is my friend since childhood, Songtao.
S: hi! We both came from xxx.
L: really? I am from that city, too. We are all town fellows aren’t we?. It’s such a small world.
S: absolutely. We both major in computer science. What’s your major?
X: accounting. I don’t really like it. But my parents said this school offers excellent accounting programs and it will be easier for me to get a job later on.
L: My major is ecation. I want to be a teacher. I think it is cool.
S: I picked my own major because I know what I want. I just like computers a lot. I would like to be a computer programmer in the future.
Y: Well, I don’t know wether I really like it or not. I just follow Songtao where he goes.
X: I feel bad for those students who make it to the top but had to quit school because of financial problems.
S: My parents paid some of my tution and I said to myself that I want to be a somebody. But no matter how much I do, I will never be able to repay my parents for what they have done for me.
L: I think I will find some off campus jobs in summer. I don’t want to be a burden to my family . My parents have been working hard all their lives.
X: Lanlan, you are great.
S: look. The boys are playing basketball now. I will join them. See you !
X: let’s keep in touch, ok?
L: I don’t have a cell phone. Can I send you e-mails?
Y: Sure. Here is my cell phone number. 12345678
And this is my e-mail address. Please write to me.
L: I will.
X: this is mine.:22334455.I am so glad to meet you. Take care!
Y and S: bye 这里还有 不差钱 英文 http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/2009-03-04/69956.html
❿ 求四到六人英语搞笑短剧，一定要幽默哦。。。
Three Little Pigs 三只小猪 Storyteller: There are three little pigs living with 讲故事者：三只小猪和他们的妈妈 their mother. Ding-Ding and Dong- 住在一起。丁丁和东东 Dong are brother pigs. They are very 是猪哥哥，他们很懒，他 Lazy. They eat and sleep all day. 们整天吃了就睡。龙龙是 Long-Long is the youngest pig. She 最小的，她整天帮着妈妈 works all day. She helps her mother 做家务。 to do the housework. Mother pig: You have grown up. You must make 猪妈妈：你们已经长大了，你们得 your own houses. 为自己盖间房。 Goodbye, little pigs. Build a house. 再见，孩子们。去盖间房。 Be careful of the wolf. 小心狼。 Pigs: Yes, Mum. Goodbye. 三只小猪：好的，妈妈。再见。 Wolf: I’m hungry. Look! Three little pigs 狼：我饿了。看，三只小猪可 for dinner. Mmm. 以做我的美餐。 Sister pig: What are you doing, brothers? 猪妹妹：哥哥，你们在干什么？ Ding-Ding: I’m building a house with leaves. 丁丁：我在用树叶盖房子。 Dong-Dong: I’m building a house with sticks. 东东：我在用树枝盖房子。 Sister pig: But leaves aren’t strong. 猪妹妹：可是树叶不牢固。树枝也不 And sticks aren’t strong. 牢固。 Brother pigs: Yes, we know. But it’s easy. 猪哥哥：我们知道。但它很容易。 What are you doing, sister? 你在干什么？ Sister pig: I’m building a house with bricks. 猪妹妹：我在用砖头盖房子。 Brother pigs: Bricks! That’s very difficult. 猪哥哥：用砖头盖，那太难了。 Sister pig: I know. But bricks are strong. 猪妹妹：我知道，可是砖头很坚固。 …… Brother pigs: Oh, we’re finished. Let’s have 猪哥哥：噢，我们盖好了。我们打 a nap. 个盹吧。 Sister pig: My house is finished. My house 猪妹妹：我的房子盖好了，我的房 is strong. 很坚固。 Wolf: Little pigs. Little pigs. Open your 狼： 小猪，小猪，快开门！ Doors! Brother pigs: No. No. Go away. 猪哥哥：不开，不开。快走开。 Wolf: This is very easy. Sticks and leaves 狼：这太容易了。树枝和树叶 aren’t strong. 都不牢固。 Storyteller: The wolf blows the houses down. 讲故事者：狼吹倒了房屋。丁丁和东 Ding-Ding and Dong-Dong run 东跑到龙龙家。 to Long-Long’s house. Brother pigs: Help! Help! 猪哥哥：救命! 救命! Wolf: Stop, you two pigs. 狼： 站住，你这两只小猪。 Brother pigs: Open the door, sister. The wolf 猪哥哥：妹妹，快开门。狼来了， is coming. Let me in. 让我们进去。 Long-Long: Come in, please. Don’t worry. 龙龙：快进来。别担心，我的 My house is strong. 房子很坚固。 Wolf: Where did they go? Oh they are 狼：他们跑哪儿了？噢，他们 Here. Little pigs. Little pigs. Open 在这儿。小猪，快把门打 the door! 开。 Three pigs: No. No. Go away. You bad wolf. 三只小猪：不开，不开。快走开。 你这只恶狼。 Wolf: I’ll blow it down. 狼：我要吹倒它。 Storyteller: The wolf blows and blows. He 讲故事者：狼吹呀吹，它不停地吹。 blows and blows. But the house 可是房子非常坚固。 is very strong. Wolf: I’ll hit it. Oh. 狼：我要撞倒它。噢！ Long-Long: Let’s boil the water. 龙龙：我们把水烧开。 Brother pigs: OK. 猪哥哥：好的。 Wolf: Oh, oh! It’s hot. It’s hot. 狼：噢！噢！好烫，好烫。 Three pigs: Hooray! The wolf is dead. The 三只小猪：好啊！狼死了，狼死了。 wolf is dead Storyteller: Since then, Ding-Ding and Dong- 讲故事者：从那以后，丁丁、东东 Dong work hard with Long-Long. 和龙龙一起努力工作。 They work and play together. 他们一起工作，一起玩。
52回答者： 星语秋梦 - 二级 2009-4-7 19:40
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