英語爆笑翻譯單詞

Ⅰ 爆笑英語翻譯

you me you me 彼此彼此
watch sister表妹
American Chinese not enough 美中不足
heart flower angry open 心花怒放
go past no mistake past 走過路過，不要錯過
People mountain and people sea. 人山人海
seven up eight down 七上八下
love who who 愛誰誰
no three no four不三不四
morning three night four 朝三暮四
red face konw me紅顏知己
wang eight eggs 王八蛋
ten three point 十三點
no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一
play a big knife before Guan Gong 關公面前耍大刀
play an ax before Lu Ban 班門弄斧
小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
One car come one car go,two car peng peng, people die.（車禍現場描述）
We two who and who？ 咱倆誰跟誰阿！
How are you? How old are you? 怎麼是你，怎麼老是你？
You don't bird me, I don't bird you.你不鳥我，我也不鳥你。
You have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers！together up！
你有種，我要給你點顏色瞧瞧，兄弟們，一起上！
Hello everybody! If you have something to say, then say! If you have nothing to say,go home!有事起奏，無事退朝。
You give me stop! 你給我站住！
Know is know no know is no know. 知之為知之，不知為不知。
Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse's son can make hole!
龍生龍，鳳生鳳，老鼠的兒子會打洞！
If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要錢沒有，要命一條
You have two down son。你有兩下子。
As far as you go to die. 有多遠，死多遠！
I give you face you don't wanna face, you lose you face,I turn my face.
給你臉你不要臉，你丟臉，我翻臉.
Want money no,want life one! 要錢不給，要命有一條！
Money or life？要錢還是要命？
Good good study,day day up! 好好學習，天天向上！
You ask me,I ask who？你問我，我去問誰？
We are one home people. 我們是一家人。
You have painting hurry say, you have ass hurry fart! 有話快說，有屁快放！
You talk like breaking the wind!你說話像放屁一樣!

Ⅱ 英語翻譯爆笑

great laughter

Ⅲ 中文搞笑英語翻譯

常見搞笑翻譯如下：

1、The king is awalys lucky 王老吉

2、Open water room. 開水間。

3、know is know noknow is noknow 知之為知之，不知為不知。

4、American Chinese not enough 美中不足

5、heart flower angry open 心花怒放

6、go past no mistake past 走過路過，不要錯過

7、as far as you go to die 有多遠，死多遠！

8、If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要錢沒有，要命一條

9、you me you me 彼此彼此

10、seven up eight down 七上八下

11、love who who 愛誰誰

12、no three no four不三不四

13、morning three night four 朝三暮四

14、red face konw me 紅顏知己

15、ten three point 十三點

16、no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一

17、You don』t bird me, I don』t bird you.你不鳥我，我也不鳥你。

18、You ask me,I ask who？你問我，我去問誰？

拓展資料

1、英漢翻譯時不能英漢直譯，以免造成上面的笑話。

2、翻譯是在准確、通順的基礎上，把一種語言信息轉變成另一種語言信息的行為。翻譯是將一種相對陌生的表達方式，轉換成相對熟悉的表達方式的過程。其內容有語言、文字、圖形、符號和視頻翻譯。

Ⅳ 簡單爆笑的英文小笑話（要翻譯的）

I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我沒有睡著

當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：「先生，醒醒！」

「我沒有睡著。」那個男人回答。

「沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？」

「我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。」
The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可憐的丈夫

「你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，」一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，「她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。」Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父親在哪兒？

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」

「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」

哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。」

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道這個諺語嗎？

一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」

「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」

一 Can we have our teacher back？

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

能讓我們的老師回去嗎？

有一次，一位督學去視察一個只有三間教室的學校。一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學抓住其中一個正在站著說話的人，把他帶進另一間教室，並讓他站在牆角。五分鍾以後，一個小男孩從第一間教室走進來，問道，「您什麼時候能讓我們的老師回去呢？」
二 Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

誰更有禮貌？

一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什麼時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂貴的代價

牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？

牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。

One day an old lady went to see her doctor, the doctor ask "how old are you?" The old lady think for a while and she said" when i was marry i was 18 and my husband is thirty Five. Now my husband is seventy years old it is twice of thirty five, so i am 36 years old."...
一天一位老太太去看醫生，醫生問：「女士，您多大歲數了？」然後老太太想了一會說：「我結婚那年我18歲，我老公35歲,現在他70歲了，是35的兩倍，所以我應該是36歲」。。。。。。。。。。

TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.
醫生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜。

Ⅳ 英語幽默笑話帶翻譯30個單詞

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他贏了

湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。

英語小笑話

上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個老美看到就笑我說, "Do you

know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎麼反應這么快, 聯想力這么豐富時,旁邊的
一個老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳的喔! 下次就換你去取笑老美了.

Ⅵ 求簡單爆笑的英文笑話，帶翻譯！

I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我沒有睡著

當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：「先生，醒醒！」

「我沒有睡著。」那個男人回答。

「沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？」

「我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。」
The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可憐的丈夫

「你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，」一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，「她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。」Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父親在哪兒？

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」

「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」

哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。」

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道這個諺語嗎？

一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」

「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」

一 Can we have our teacher back？

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

能讓我們的老師回去嗎？

有一次，一位督學去視察一個只有三間教室的學校。一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學抓住其中一個正在站著說話的人，把他帶進另一間教室，並讓他站在牆角。五分鍾以後，一個小男孩從第一間教室走進來，問道，「您什麼時候能讓我們的老師回去呢？」
二 Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

誰更有禮貌？

一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什麼時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂貴的代價

牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？

牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。

Ⅶ 求超級搞笑的英文翻譯

都說Pearl harbour是「 珍珠港」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯： 蚌埠。
都說Greenland是「格陵蘭」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：青島。
都說Deep River是宇多田光的專輯，其實它還有另外一個神奇的名字叫＂深圳＂。
都說Newfoundland是紐芬蘭，其實有更北京的翻譯：新發地。
都說rock hometown是「搖滾之鄉」的 意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：石家莊。
都說New York是「紐約」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：新鄉。
都說RedRiverValley是「紅河谷」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：丹江口。
都說Table mountain 叫桌山，其實還有個更土的名字叫平頂山
都說Phoenix是「鳳凰城」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：寶雞。
都說Portsmouth是「 朴茨茅斯」的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯： 浦口 。
都說open horizon是「一 望無際的原野」的意思，其實還有更社會主義的翻譯：平壤。
都說Broadway是百老匯，其實還有還有更中土的翻譯：寬街。
都說Tiger Woods是老虎伍茲，其實還有更中土的名字：林彪。
都說5th Avenue是第五大道的意思，其實還有更中土的翻譯：五道口。
都說Mont Blanc是萬寶龍，其實有更中土的翻譯：長白山
都說 Wolfsburg是沃爾夫斯堡，其實還有更中土的翻譯：狼窩鋪(中國河北省灤縣杏山鄉)
都說Queensland是昆士蘭，其實還有還有更中土的翻譯：秦皇島。
都說Westfield是韋斯特菲爾德，其實還有更中土的翻譯：西單旋轉
Evergreen不是常青樹……是長春
以後見到Kingston一律譯成皇上屯！(亮了！)

Ⅷ 要超搞笑的英文翻譯......

我的空間里有篇摘錄,現在我復制給你如下:(歡迎來我空間逛逛)

《史上最強的情書》
喜歡上王小姐後，決定要給她寫一封情書，這封情書一定要不落俗套。苦思之下，觸發了靈感，現在賣餅干說是賣克力架，做網站的想辦法上納斯達克，那我也走國際路線，寫封英文情書，扯著虎皮拉大旗，顯示一下自己的才華吧。 Dear wang litte girl： 親愛的王小姐： (翻譯這句，我可費了不少心思，中文直接用「親愛的」未免顯得肉中有肉，麻中有麻，還是老外開放，一般朋友也可以用dear，這樣自己的賊心可以得到滿足而又不唐突。姐想譯成sister吧，怕她理解成小妹，一開始就叫人小妹，我好意思開口，人家還不一定好意思應呢，把小姐譯成little girl吧，又怕她理解成小丫頭，這樣「wang little girl」變成了王小丫，上天作證，我可沒有喜歡這個漂亮的主持人，其實主要知道喜歡了也白搭，就像明知是垃圾股又何必再投資進去呢？最後採用考試時常用的方法———丟硬幣決定還是譯成litte girl。) From see you one eye，I shit love you。 (本想寫「自從見你第一眼，我便對你魂牽夢繞」，可魂牽夢繞我實在譯不出，只好寫成「我便愛上你」，「便」譯成shit是鄰居小孩告訴我的，他說VCD里老有人說：「shit」，這個shit就是「便」。) Your eyes close，I die；your eyes open，I come back to live.Your eyes close and open again and again，I die again and again. 你的眼睛閉上，我就死了，你的眼睛睜開，我又活過來了，你眼睛眨呀眨，我就死去活來。 (「哈哈，不禁有些佩服自己了，居然用這么簡單的單詞表達了這么深邃的意思。) Maybe you do not know me，no matter.One see clock emtion is pop. (「也許你還不認識我，沒有關系，一見鍾情很流行。」譯「一見鍾情」頗費了一番功夫，「一」、「見」、「情」都會，但「鍾」字怎麼譯呢，一抬頭，見鬧鍾上寫著呢：clock，pop這個詞是從電視中學來的，最流行的音樂唱片就是top of the pops，呵呵，處處留心皆學問呀。) I think I should introce myself to you. 我想應該介紹一下自己。 (事實證明我的英文啟蒙老師很有遠見，她說要是哪天你到了國外，要找外國MM套磁，就要用這句。不過，不知她有沒有想到我現在是用這句話來唬中國MM。) I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。 (今天是today，那麼今年是toyear，沒有錯的吧。) My home four mouth people：papa，mama，I and DD. 我家有四口人：爸爸、媽媽、我和弟弟。 (還好，幸虧在網上混了這么多年，知道GG，JJ，MM，DD怎麼寫的。) I beat letter very fast，because I am a computer high hand. I even act as black guest. 我打字很快，因為我是電腦高手，我甚至還當過黑客呢。 I do early fuck every day，so that I can have strong body to protect you. 我每天都做早操，這樣我會有強壯的身體來保護你。 (「操」譯成fuck也是鄰居小孩告訴我的，他還說VCD里就是這么譯的，人家外國電影不會用錯的。) Please come to eat and sleep with me，or I will cut my hair to be a monk，and find a place where many monks live in to over my life. 請嫁給我吧，否則我將削發為僧，找個廟來了此一生。 (實在想不起嫁字怎麼譯了，好在我腦袋靈光，嫁過來不就是和我吃住在一起嗎？禍不單行，廟字我又忘記怎麼譯了，不過這也難不倒我，好多和尚住的地方不就是廟嗎？為自己的聰明鼓掌！至於了此一生，打游戲時最後不是game over吧，over當然就是結束啦。) your old big 你的老大 (為了表示親切，署名時我省去了姓，不過你的老大聽起來有點像黑社會的感覺，算了，不管它啦。) 好了，我的第一封英文情書就這樣隆重誕生了，看見了吧，知識就是力量，這肯定是一發攻克MM心城的重型炮彈，為我的好運祝福吧！ 哦，為寫這封情書熬了一個通宵，天都亮了，該do early fuck(做早操)去了！