① if a boy loves you(translation)
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會一直不叫你的名字，他會叫你蠢豬，傻瓜或者87
if a boy loves you, he will keep calling your name, or fool or 87
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你忘記帶鑰匙而哭的時候為你爬牆，最後被宿舍管理員紀律處分。
if a boy loves you, he will climb over the wall ro find the keys for your forgetfulness, and receive punishment from the dorm administrator.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會說你不漂亮，但從他喜歡上你的那一天開始，他已經沒興趣再看其他漂亮女生了。
if a boy loves you, he will say that your not pretty looking girl, since from the day he falls in love with you, he was not interested in other pretty girls anymore.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會說你是一頭豬，因為在他心裡你就像一頭笨笨豬一樣可愛。
if a boy loves you, he will call you a piglet as lovely and simple as you are in his mind.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在和你一起逛街的時候，一直看經過身邊的美女，然後被你罵色狼的時候他還會好開心。
if a boy loves you, he will ,when you are wandering on the street with him, fix his eyes on beautiful girls passing by, and feel happy when you call him lady-killer.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會陪你去看他不喜歡的言情片，然後任由你把他的衣服當紙巾。
if a boy loves you, he will acommpany youto tp stare at a love movie that he hate to, and leave you use his sleeves as tissuepaper.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會叫你和他一起看恐怖片，然後喜歡你躲在他懷里尖叫。
if a boy loves you, he will invite you to a horrible movie to wait for you screaming in his arms.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會故意向你借他不喜歡看的電影碟，只為了可以有一個見你的借口。
if a boy loves you, he will borrow a disc which he dislikes from you to find a chance of meeting you again.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你無聊的時候，用手機發信息陪你聊天，他會說這個月的信息太多，不想浪費。
if a boy loves you, he will msm you when you are bored and find an excuse that he has much balance this month.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你的耳機壞了的時候，把耳機借給你，然後一個人在電腦上看無聲的球賽。
if a boy loves you, he will lend you his earphone when yours dont' work and watch a silent match alone.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你的電腦有問題的時候自告奮勇地幫你解決，因為他剛向別人請教了怎麼弄。
if a bo loves you he will volunteer for repairing your broken computer, since he just asked from others.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會把自己說得無所不能，並非自大，他是因為太喜歡你。
if a boy locves you, he will boasts himself being foromnipotent,simply because he loves you.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會為了在玩游戲中幫你贏取分數，常常苦練那個他不喜歡的游戲到深夜。
if a boy loves you, he will work hard on the game which he does not like at all until midnight for the sake of gaining marks for you.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在玩游戲的時候故意輸給你，然後忍受你一遍又一遍地笑他是超級大菜鳥。
if a boy loves you, he will lose on purpose, and enre you call him 「green hand」from time to time.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他總是最後一個掛掉電話或最後一個下線，因為他覺得這樣才放心。
if a boy loves you, he will be the last on to hang up or log off to to be at ease.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他睡覺時不會關掉手機，他會害怕你深夜有什麼事卻找不到他。
if a boy loves you, he will make his cell phone 24 hours and 7 days power on, just in case that you can not find him when you are in trouble at midnight.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會為了你而改變睡覺前不刷牙的習慣
if a boy loves you, he will change his habit of going to sleep without brushing his teeth.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你肚子痛的時候，四處打聽什麼葯治肚子痛最有效。
if a boy loves you, he will ask around what's the most effevtive medicine to cure your astomache.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你遇到危險的時候奮不顧身，在你痛哭的時候手足無措。
if a boy loves you, he will be your super hero when you are in danger and be all at sea when you shed tears.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你輕輕打他的時候說很痛，在你真正用力打他的時候說一點都不痛。
if a boy loves you, he will yell when you slightly pat on him and compalin nothing when you wallop him.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會在你生氣的時候充當你的出氣筒，在你開心的時候充當你的冷場笑話的聽眾。
if a boy loves you, he'll be your punching bag when you are angry and your audience of your cool jokes when you are happy.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會忘記男女平等這一事實，他會接受你一切的不平等條例。
if a boy likes you, he'll forget the fact of feminism, and accept all of your uneqqual treaty.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會跟著你喜歡你所喜歡的一切，討厭你所討厭的一切。
if a boy loves you, he'll like what you like and hate what you hate.
如果一個男孩喜歡你，他會把你和一切美好的東西聯系在一起。
if a boy love you, he wil connected every splendid thing with you.
② 適合小學生閱讀的英語小笑話要帶翻譯
1.Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"
"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."
Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。「爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？」
「我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，」丈夫推諉說。「我們打球只是為了開心而已。」
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：「那麼，爸爸，誰玩的更開心呢？」
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。「來，坐下，吃點點心，」媽媽說，「你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。」
一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。
「你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，」他那聰明的兒子說，「裡面裝點東西，就會好的。」
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"
一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。
母親看了女兒幾秒鍾，隨即說道，「露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有麵包既加黃油又加果醬。」
露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：「您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？」