『壹』 求英語閱讀帶翻譯的（50字以內）小笑話也可以
1. Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited
his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box,
the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold
out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur
tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
兩張電影票
一個小夥子愛上了一位姑娘。周末，他請她看電影。來到售票處，
小夥子對售票員說：「請給兩張票。」售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。
失望的年輕人說：「那麼，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎？」
2、What Grade
Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's
license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She
pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What
grade, miss?"
哪一級
我的十七歲的侄女，科里斯蒂，剛剛拿到駕照。她主動提出去加油
站給她媽媽的車加油。她把車開到晝夜服務的加油泵前。服務員問她：
「（加油加到）哪一級，小姐？」
3、When a Tiger comes
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
老虎來了
兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一隻老虎出現在遠處，向他們沖來。
當中的一個人從包里拿出一雙「耐克」跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看著他說，「你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎？」
他的朋友回答道：「我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。」
4、The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：「你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。」
「為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢？」
「你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？」吝嗇鬼回答。
5、Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
給我那個打贏的吧
-- 服務員，
這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。
-- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。
6、my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。」
7、Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
8、Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴
(2) nest n.窩；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓勵
(5) resemble v. 相似；類似
.鳥窩與頭發
我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一隻鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。
「是什麼鳥呢？」我姐姐問她。
「我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。」那孩子回答說。
「那麼，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎？」我姐姐鼓勵她道。
「哦，老師，就像你的頭發一樣。」
9、I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
「我們有毒嗎？」一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
「是的，親愛的，」她回答說，「你問這個干什麼？」
「因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。」
10、A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正准備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：「總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？」